9.18.2012

A Father to the Fatherless

I recently watched a show called "Intervention". This show followed drug addicts throughout their day, documenting the pain and turmoil that not only the addict feels, but the emotional heartbreak of the family that surrounds them. As I began to watch the different story lines of these addicts, I saw a pattern form. In each tragic story, the father was absent from their life. For some of them their father never wanted anything to do with them. In others, the father was at one time their hero, and in hard times abandoned them. In each scenario, you could feel the pain that was caused by rejection of the one person that was suppose to care for them the most. Some of these children, abused by others, and ignored by their parents, were once little children with beautiful smiles, a hope for life, and an innocence that was ripped from them. In each of these stories, their life changed once they hit middle school. The reality of life hit them, and since they had no father to run into the arms of, they began searching for something to fill the void. They found people that would "accept" them for who they were. They felt like they were closer to the drugs and to those friends than they were to their own fractured family.

The family unit is fading fast. We no longer have two parents raising children, we have a growing majority of split homes, multiple divorces, and kids left in the balance. How do we repair the damage of those whose father's have abandoned them, the ones who have been abused, or those that feel like there's just no hope? The reality is that there will always be those parents in this world of sin, and there will always be those kids that are left to pick up the pieces.

I recently read a book called, "One Home at a Time" by Dennis Rainey. In this book he talks about the declining family unit and its effect on America. He begins by telling a story of a couple who were on the verge of a divorce. Both the husband and the wife had been through many things in their life, and neither knew how to truly love each other. As they were about to sign the divorce papers, they agreed to go to a marriage conference. Reluctantly they went and God began to speak to them. Their life was not instantly changed, but they decided to "try". Though they didn't know how to pray, they threw some words out to God, in hopes that He was out there somewhere. The road wasn't easy, they both continued to fight, and in the midst would stop and pray. As each day went by, they found they were starting to feel love once again for each other, and their child saw the amazing difference that God was making in their family.

In the Bible it says that God is a "Father to the fatherless". He is the one we turn to in the time of trouble. How do we help those who feel they have no hope? How do we reach those millions of children, teens, and adults who have been abused and abandoned by their own father? We pray! In 2 Corinthians 7:14, the Bible says, "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

Our nation is in a crisis, and the ship is sinking fast. We may feel like things look hopeless, and how can you as one person change anything. It begins with prayer! If you are a person who has been abandoned by their father, or you're a single mom, trying to be a mom and a dad to your children, don't give up hope! He is the Father to the fatherless, He is the one that when all others fail, we can run into His arms. He will never leave us nor forsake us, and He is the one that we pray to when the road is long and all hope is gone.

8.27.2012

Allowing God to Lead You!

Years ago, my sons were in a private school. I put them in there because I had always loved school and wanted them to have the same experiences I had. I soon realized that my son had issues with socializing. I pulled him out and homeschooled him for a year. Determined that he would have a "normal" school upbringing, I put him back into school. Still struggling, I pulled him out again. I began to realize that the life I wanted for my child was just that; it was what "I" wanted. At that moment, I realized that God had called me to homeschool my kids, and since then, I have never looked back.

Recently, my husband and I had decided that now that the kids are older, I should maybe look for a part-time job. In the past I have had jobs, but usually my kids are always with me, since I usually worked in daycares. Deciding this was what was right for our family, I submitted my resume. Not long after I got a call. After the call, I got an interview, and after that I got the job. Praying that this was right, I had made a list of things that I had to have. First I wanted Sundays and Wednesdays off for church, and second, I needed to work nights, since I homeschool during the day. The future employer accepted these requests and I started my new job journey. Thinking that God had opened all these doors for me, I just knew this must be what He had for me, and I went in with high expectations and excitement that I would succeed! Between the time that I sent in my resume, to the time that I began working, problems began to arise. First, we started having car problems. We had to take it in twice. Then the church began to call and ask me to be apart of different things. I had been trying to be involved in certain areas for years, and all of the sudden doors had opened up, and I had no time to be involved. Groups that I had once been in charge of, began to be pushed to the side, due to work conflict.

As the changes all took place over the course of three weeks, I finally sat down with my husband and began to realize that this perfect looking job, with all these open doors, was not God's plan at all for us! I had selfishly wanted my own agenda, and pushed until God said, "FINE", and gave me what I wanted. I may not have thrown tantrums, or whined that I needed a job, but I certainly did not consult God enough, and did not rely on Him to meet our needs. Realizing that this was not where God wanted me, I turned in my resignation, and will continue to stay at home with my children full time. The moment that God gave me clarity on my selfish and stubborn ways, I turned from them and asked for forgiveness.

Maybe you struggle with allowing God to lead you. It can be hard to allow God to have complete control of your life! Sure, it would be nice for us to have that income and not always feel like we are barely getting by, but I can also tell you that I have so much more faith than I ever had before. God has taken care of us in ways that may seem impossible, but He always swooped in and saved the day. We have never been without a home, food, car, or any of our basic needs. Through the years He has taken care of them all! I encourage you today to examine your life and make sure that you are following the path that God has for you. Set your pride and stubbornness aside and allow God to lead you into a path of blessing by honoring Him.

Isaiah 48:17 “...I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go."

8.17.2012

Being a Godly Influence!

Two boys were walking along, looking as if they wanted to get into a little bit of mischief. While walking, I heard a voice calling for them to come back. Instantly one boy turned around and started going towards the woman, when the other boy grabbed his arm, told him to ignore her and just keep going. A second time you heard the woman yell for them. Once again the first boy turned toward her and began walking her way, when the second boy told him not to and to continue on with him. After several moments of the second boy, pulling on and working hard to get the first boy to disobey, and seeing the obvious struggle in the eyes and body language of the first boy, eventually the second boy got his way and both boys ended up running the opposite direction of the woman.

Influence. We all have influence over people, and we may have no idea how we are affecting them. The influence can also go both ways. You could be dragging someone else down, or they could be dragging you! Have you ever had a habit that you just can't seem to shake? Maybe you smoke, or maybe you can't help overeating. It is something that you may have struggled with for a long time. To get over these things are hard because we usually surround ourselves with people who have those same issues. "Birds of a feather" they say. If you smoke, you have your smoking buddies that you hang outside with during work breaks. If you like to eat, usually your whole family does too, making it hard to diet while they feast on chicken wings.

The principle of influence also applies to our spiritual life. If we are spending large amounts of time with people who don't go to church, maybe never read the Bible, don't believe it is wrong to cheat on your spouse, or are comfortable lying, then you too, slowly become influenced by these things. Slowly you drop your guard and begin to rationalize that the things you are doing are not so bad. For, if all your friends are doing it and seem to have it all together, it doesn't seem to be as sinful anymore. You spend extra time with a co-worker at the bars without your spouse, you slowly fall away from your marriage, you stop reading your Bible or attending church, and then suddenly you find yourself far away from where you ever thought you could be.

Be careful who your close friends are. The idea of "missionary dating", where a Christian dates or marries a non-christian to get them saved, never works. In the end you will be dragged down, not the other way around. It is far easier to go down a hill than to climb up it. It is not hard to eat a doughnut, but it sure is hard to get those love handles off! Make sure that not only are you surrounded by people of Godly influence, but that you yourself are also being a person that would not take the hand of someone next to you and cause them to be led astray.

Proverbs 12:26
"The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray."

8.14.2012

Accountability

The boys wanted to go on one final trip to the pool. We got there early and had the best seats on the end. My chair was near two sets of pop & candy machines. While reading my book, I heard a group of young kids by the machines. First they were checking out each one, next they began to slowly bang on them, and then they started to hit the "change" slot repeatedly. As I watched, at first wondering if they lost their change, one boy tells another boy to get a shoe. The boys comes back with a tennis shoe and they begin to hit the change slot over and over with this shoe. I began to observe that no adults were checking up on these children, and so I casually walked over. I first asked them if there was a problem in case they lost their change. I asked them what they were up to and they honestly replied that they were trying to get change out of this machine. I reminded them that what they were doing was stealing. As I questioned them, two of the boys dropped their head in shame as one boy began to conjure up this lie that he was trying to get change out of the machine, just so he could give it back to the pool staff. I once again reminded them it was stealing and asked them if they were here with their parents. These young 7 or 8 years olds were there at the pool alone, with no one to report to. They were free as they could be to do what they wanted, since the pool staff had so many kids and not enough eyes to keep track of what everyone is up to.

I sent those boys on their way reminding them that what they were doing was wrong. Later as I was still reading my book, I look over at the other set of pop machines. There, two boys had found a large, thick, metal wire, and were trying to pick the lock or shove it into the change slot. Once again noticing that no one was around, I walked up to the boys. Repeating the same questions, I asked them what they were doing. Yet again they were honest and said they were trying to get some money. I reminded them that this was stealing and that God would not approve of their actions. I once again sent the second set of boys off on their way, reminding them where I was sitting. I could see it all over their faces that if I wasn't sitting right there to watch, they would have loved to come back and attempt it one more time.

Accountability! This world has no desire for it. If we can get away with it, why not try it. There is no right or wrong anymore, it is how far can we go without getting caught! In the wonderful world of entertainment, television use to have guidelines that would protect not only the young innocent minds, but understood the Biblical lines of right and wrong. Today, it is not what shouldn't be watched, it is how much can we get away with. The networks don't try to line up with any type of moral accountability, for that has been thrown out the window. We now see shows where there's more bleeps than actual words. Soon, those bleeps will no longer be there and all will be acceptable as the lines between good and evil become blurred.

We as humans don't want to be told what to do. We want to have our personal rights and freedoms, and we certainly don't want to be accountable for anything. What would have happened if I had let those boys continue to try and steal or break those machines? What would happen if no one ever told you what was right and wrong? We don't like to be preached to and want do our own thing, yet we should not be allowed to do whatever feels best to us. God gives us His word with clear guidelines on what is right and what is wrong. We are to read it, learn it, and share it with others.

As these young boys had no one to be accountable to, they let their freedom lead them into a path of deceit. As the world does what is right in their own eyes, we as Christians are to show them the path to Godliness, and remind them that someday we all will be responsible to answer to God and be accountable for own actions.

Galatians 6:1-2 "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

7.26.2012

Judge Not!

The boys love to go to the pool during the summer. They love to hit Terrace Pool where they have the slides and other fun things to do. Of course, it is a very popular pool and is so full at times that people can get turned away. With such a crowd, the chairs are limited, and so we have to get there right before it opens, stand in a large crowded line, and make a mad dash to the chairs. Those who wait end up having to walk a long way, or won't even get a chair! We recently went to the pool and got there early enough to get a nice set of chairs in the front. The boys took off for the slides as I grabbed my book to enjoy soaking up some rays. As I sat there, the chairs began to fill up. A small family started walking around looking for chairs. Now, if you don't have anything on a chair, it's basically free for the taking. Right in front of me, they walked over to a set of four chairs. The two on the outside had stuff on them, but the two in the middle had nothing on them. You could tell they were pushed together, so they were probably a set for a family, but they were all off swimming. The woman began to take the two middle chairs that had nothing on them out of the middle, and then moved them off away to the side for her family to sit on. This amused me as I wondered if there was in fact people that had saved these chairs, and what the reaction would be once they arrived back to their spot to find them missing! The pool break came, and sure enough, a family of four comes back to find their chairs missing! They searched and searched and found a couple chairs around, brought them up to the rest of their chairs, and once again they had their four chairs. All of the sudden, as I am chatting with my boys, I began to realize that some of them are staring at us with looks of irritation. I began to realize that our chairs were directly behind them, giving the appearance that we dragged their two chairs away from them. In my mind, I wanted to quickly point to the people who did take it from them, but decided to leave it alone. What good would it do, but make me feel vindicated and draw attention to another family who just wanted a place to sit. I left it in God's hands and let it go.

Later, my son comes running over to me. He has always been allowed to run and jump in the pool by the lifeguard from the white line. Apparently the current lifeguard had decided this wasn't a good idea and was telling him to stop. He didn't realize he couldn't do it, and out of nowhere, an adult woman on the side, jumped up, started screaming at my son that he had a problem with authority! Trying desperately to explain that he didn't hear the lifeguard, the woman continued to scream, lumping my son into the world's set of dysfunctional youth! He came over to me stunned, never having anyone yell at him as she did. He didn't mean to disobey, but the woman, who didn't know him, immediately judged him. While hearing this story, the mom instincts took off, and I wanted to go defend my son. Instead, I listened to the story he told, used the moment to share some wisdom with my son, and left it in God's hands.

What do these two stories have in common? In both stories, without all the facts, they were quick to judge. To the family who lost their chairs, we were sitting near, so obviously we were the ones that took them from them. In the case of my son, the woman assumed he just didn't want to listen to the lifeguard, and instantly took it upon herself to take charge and teach this out of control youth a lesson!

In this world, we are quick to judge, and quick to fight back. We see something that looks obvious to us, but is not what it seems at all and we automatically make it our job to decide if they are guilty and deserve punishment! In Matthew 7:1, the Bible says, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged." The person that always seems rude to you, may not even know they are being rude, but may be going through a divorce. The man who caught you off at the turning lane, may have just lost his job and was driving in sheer emotion! The person next to you at church, that never says, "Hi", appears to not like you, and seems unsocial, could be in a an abusive relationship, hurting and struggling to bring themselves each Sunday. We never truly know what is going on in each situation of everyone's life, but God does. The next time you find yourself griping about the crabby mailman, or the rude cashier, think for a moment what might be going on in their life. Let God use you to quietly pray for them in those moments. In the end, God will be our judge, leave it in His hands. For when your life is through, He will be the only one judging you.

James 1:19 "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."

5.10.2012

Being Where God Has Called You!

I'm a dreamer! If I had my way, I would be in far off countries, working with the orphans. I would take my husband and children across the country and share what God has done in our lives! I would start a bakery, and share my love of baking with all those around me! I could go on and on! I have a million things that "I" would like to do. There are times when I become frustrated and feel like I have never made any kind of difference in this world. I am a stay at home mom, who homeschools her kids! I am not a movie star, who can use the media to share my faith. I am not a rock star with a hit single that has "Jesus" written on my posters and CD's. I am not a missionary, who travels into the deep jungles, and leads those dying and lost to Christ. I am only...a wife...a mom...a dreamer!

I recently became discouraged as I sometimes struggle to find my place. Being a homeschooling mother, I have to be proactive to find a place in this world for my kids. I cannot rely on the public school to provide them with opportunities to be in band, sports, music, or art. I have to go and find those opportunities. Do I just go and plop my kids in the first thing that I find for them? No, I begin to pray and ask God where He wants them. I am a dreamer! I want my kids involved in everything! Does that mean that God wants them involved in everything? In our daily lives, we need to learn to pray and ask God for His direction! One thing I have learned is that it isn't worth being apart of something if God hasn't called me to do it! Each one of us has specific talents that God has given us. I know nothing about changing oil in a car, and yet our church has a ministry that helps the widows and single moms with that. I may have youth, but don't make me sit in a room filled with teens! I could spend all day with children, and yet, I have had moms complain that they could never work with kids all day!

We each have dreams, and we each have a specific calling that God has on our lives. I may be a dreamer, and I may never achieve the large dreams because God did not call me to fulfill those dreams. He can take and use those dreams in a different way. He may not call me to go across seas and help the orphans, but he has brought children in need across my path. I have held children that only needed someone to take the time to hug them. I may not get to have my own bakery, but I can bake and share with those around me. I can bring cookies to a neighbor and show them the love of Jesus.

You may be a dreamer, and you may be frustrated at where you are. Pray that God will show you why He has placed you where you are today! Be where God has called you, and let Him guide you into fulfilling His dream for you!

Philippians 2:13 "For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."

4.20.2012

Your Kids Need Jesus, Too!

A young man was raised in a Christian home. His father was a preacher, and would spend most of his time out doing his ministry and was never around. So consumed with helping others, he forgot about sharing the love of Christ with his own children. Now as an adult, he no longer wants anything to do with church. The pain of never truly having his father's love or attention, has taken its toll, and in his mind, Christianity was the thing that separated them.

I have heard the stories time and time again, where pastors or missionary kids no longer want to serve Christ. Their parents were so busy saving the lost, they forgot to save their own kids.

There are times in my life that I feel like I don't amount to much in the world's eyes. I am a stay at home mom, who has decided to put my children ahead of any type of career. There are times when I resent the fact of being at home. Then, there are times when I see the relationship that I have with my kids, and the type of relationship that they have with God, and it makes it all worth it to me. This is not to say that moms who work, can't juggle both! The reminder is, that we as parents need to take time for our kids. If we are so caught up in our work, ministry, or activities, and set aside no time for them, they will grow up feeling like they never knew us, and when they become adults, will have no time for us!

Set aside time each day to talk to your kids. Pray with them, hug them, and tell them you love them. Team them about Jesus, and show them daily how to follow Him. For, if you are too busy shining your light only to the world, your children may become lost!

Ephesians 6:4 "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

Deuteronomy 6:4-9
"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."