Ah the joys of marriage! When a girl gets married, she spends a long time dreaming about it. Most girls dress up and have pretend weddings as children, and as they grow, they continue to envision their special day! The difference between the reality and a dream can sometimes be overwhelming for those young brides. They have seen all the romantic movies, read all those fancy romance novels, and they begin to have a false sense of what their marriage is going to be like.
When a woman first meets that amazing someone, they begin to notice only the special things that their man is doing for them and ignore everything else. They accept their flaws, and love their differences....for "opposites attract"...right? Everything is exciting and new and their significant other gets them to try new things and experience life from their point of view. At first, we as women go along with this; we accept them just as their are. As time goes on though, we begin to notice patterns of things, and how those quirks and differences start to bother us. We get frustrated when the things we had seen in books or saw in the movies is not what is occurring in our own relationships. We have allowed these things to give us a false sense of what true love really is.
One of the things I dislike most about those romance movies, is that the guy is suppose to read our minds! He is suppose to have the most amazing memory, know every single detail about us, know how we are feeling at any given moment, and act upon it accordingly. This is not reality. There might be a time when I am feeling blue, but I may say I'm fine. My husband says something in a tone that I take the wrong way, and I begin to get angry, yet he has no clue what he just said. When these things occur, we need to stop and think about what happened and why we are taking these things the wrong way. Each woman does not like it when a man uses the "time of the month" card, but it is a factor in how we feel. As women, we need to take a moment and find out why things offend us. Were our hormones going crazy? Did we miss breakfast? Is work becoming too stressful?
When the negative thoughts about our spouse begin to crawl in, and his imperfections shine through, we need to take a moment to step back and remember that we are just as imperfect. A guy does not have the ability to read our thoughts, know how we feel at each moment of the day, and cannot possible be "Mr. Romance" 24/7. He will not have the same emotions, and most guys have no desire to talk about them. God made him the "head of the home", and with that is built in a desire to provide. His job can become stressful at times, and he may feel overwhelmed. The desire to provide can take its toll. When my children were little and I stayed at home, there were days when my husband walked in and I handed the kids over without a word and went to have some moments of sanity. We need to remember that they need that too! Give them time to unwind at home, let them know they have a safe haven to run to. When my husband comes home, we all run to the door to hug him and let him know we are all glad that he is home, and how thankful we are that he works to help provide for us. Happiness begins in the small things. Love isn't always fireworks, but it's a foot massage, or making their favorite meal. It's the little things that matter. Let us remember to let our husbands be who they are and love them for how God made them!
1.10.2013
12.04.2012
Husbands, Love Your Wives!
I remember back to when my husband and I were first married. Even though we had dated for two years, I remember it being hard to learn how to work together as one unit. The hard part was learning how to combine our separate lives. We each had our own set of friends, things we liked to do apart from each other, and it was tough to find a trusting middle ground. On one hand, guys love to hang out together and my husband is a night owl. He knows how to stay up late and enjoys a good video game. I, on the other hand, am an early to bed, early to rise kind of person. The two did not mix at first as I had the expectations of us falling asleep at the same time...like in all those movies I had seen!
As those first few months unfolded, I remember feeling so frustrated. We knew we loved each other, we felt like we had really spent a lot of time knowing each other before marriage, and yet, there were so many things I felt like I still didn't know. As we began to communicate and work together, we were able to come to a middle ground. My husband knew that he could no longer stay out late with the guys playing video games until 2am, and he would make sure to come home at a decent hour. Sure, we eventually figured out we would never fall asleep at the same time, but he would make an effort to pray with me before I went to sleep, creating that bond. His sacrifice and love showed me that I could trust him completely, for he didn't wander out late at night, or leave me alone without knowing where he was. I felt secure, which is one of the greatest things a husband can do for his wife. It is one way to show his love.
As the years went on and we began to have kids, our lives once again changed. Any extra time with our friends faded away as the all consuming stages of babyhood took over. I was a stay at home mom, where I spent the days staring into the eyes of my beautiful children, spending all those precious moments together, hearing them scream for 2 hours straight, wondering when I was going to get sleep, and forgetting what day it was. During those priceless and exhausting moments, I remember times when my husband would walk in the door. and I would hand him our child and go off to have a moment of peace. Even though he had just worked a long and exhausting shift, he would without complaint, take our child and give me rest. In those moments, he showed me how much he would sacrifice for me. He showed me love.
Now that our boys are getting older, we have new stresses that arrive. The biggest stress would have to be money. Not only do we have college looming near, we have to feed the hungry boys that have hollow legs. They, as all good teens, will want to drive soon and have a car, and they also need clothes constantly, since they seem to think they need to outgrow each article before they can wear them out. There are times when we stop and wonder how others make it and sometimes think that maybe we should both work. In those moments, we have learned to trust God. My husband feels that being home with our boys, teaching and training them is one of the most important jobs that we have as parents. Without hesitation he has encouraged me to stay at home, despite the grocery and clothes bill doubling. He is constantly supportive of putting our family first, and in that way, he shows me love.
No matter what situation you find yourself in today, I encourage you to build that trust with your spouse. Husbands, show your wives you care. You don't have to buy her a big expensive house or the latest car; a husband who supports and care for his wife no matter what is worth more than gold. It helps her to not only trust you completely, but makes her feel secure in herself as a wife and mother. Taking a moment to pray with her, removing the screaming child from her grasp to give her rest, and allowing her to fulfill the role she has as a mother, is priceless. She is God's gift to you, and her security rests in your hands.
1 Peter 3:7
"Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."
As those first few months unfolded, I remember feeling so frustrated. We knew we loved each other, we felt like we had really spent a lot of time knowing each other before marriage, and yet, there were so many things I felt like I still didn't know. As we began to communicate and work together, we were able to come to a middle ground. My husband knew that he could no longer stay out late with the guys playing video games until 2am, and he would make sure to come home at a decent hour. Sure, we eventually figured out we would never fall asleep at the same time, but he would make an effort to pray with me before I went to sleep, creating that bond. His sacrifice and love showed me that I could trust him completely, for he didn't wander out late at night, or leave me alone without knowing where he was. I felt secure, which is one of the greatest things a husband can do for his wife. It is one way to show his love.
As the years went on and we began to have kids, our lives once again changed. Any extra time with our friends faded away as the all consuming stages of babyhood took over. I was a stay at home mom, where I spent the days staring into the eyes of my beautiful children, spending all those precious moments together, hearing them scream for 2 hours straight, wondering when I was going to get sleep, and forgetting what day it was. During those priceless and exhausting moments, I remember times when my husband would walk in the door. and I would hand him our child and go off to have a moment of peace. Even though he had just worked a long and exhausting shift, he would without complaint, take our child and give me rest. In those moments, he showed me how much he would sacrifice for me. He showed me love.
Now that our boys are getting older, we have new stresses that arrive. The biggest stress would have to be money. Not only do we have college looming near, we have to feed the hungry boys that have hollow legs. They, as all good teens, will want to drive soon and have a car, and they also need clothes constantly, since they seem to think they need to outgrow each article before they can wear them out. There are times when we stop and wonder how others make it and sometimes think that maybe we should both work. In those moments, we have learned to trust God. My husband feels that being home with our boys, teaching and training them is one of the most important jobs that we have as parents. Without hesitation he has encouraged me to stay at home, despite the grocery and clothes bill doubling. He is constantly supportive of putting our family first, and in that way, he shows me love.
No matter what situation you find yourself in today, I encourage you to build that trust with your spouse. Husbands, show your wives you care. You don't have to buy her a big expensive house or the latest car; a husband who supports and care for his wife no matter what is worth more than gold. It helps her to not only trust you completely, but makes her feel secure in herself as a wife and mother. Taking a moment to pray with her, removing the screaming child from her grasp to give her rest, and allowing her to fulfill the role she has as a mother, is priceless. She is God's gift to you, and her security rests in your hands.
1 Peter 3:7
"Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."
11.30.2012
Distractions!
Have you ever been praying and in the middle of your prayers you stop and suddenly remember a list of things you need to do later? Or...you are singing along to a church worship song, and your mind wanders as you begin realizing how hungry you are and how a cheeseburger sure sounds good! Lastly, you are tired, your kids have been sick and kept you up all night, and at the end of the service you have literally been "Sleep sitting"! As the sermon goes on, you realize that you heard absolutely nothing of what was just said to you! Distractions! Lack of Focus! We have all been there!
Lately God has been sharing with me about having a "true" heart. These things I wrote about are your basic distractions that the average person goes through occasionally. But, what if these things become a pattern and you begin to realize that as you are worshiping, you are not focused on God, and you are constantly distracted by the world around you.
I recently spoke to the Middle School youth on having a true heart of worship. Anyone can stand up and sing a song, raise their hands in praise and prayer, and go through the motions. Anyone can sit through a sermon, have their Bible rest on their lap, and not hear one word that was spoken. If while we are singing our songs, we aren't praising God with our heart, then the words are pointless. We can sit through every sermon, but if we aren't truly listening and desiring to learn how to apply what is said to our lives, we have gained nothing. Singing songs with just our lips and listening only with our ears will never help us develop a true relationship with God. God desires a heart that is thankful and full of praise.
We have all had those moments of distraction, but let it not become a pattern in our lives. As we sing a song of praise, let us sing with a heart that is focused on God and all the wonderful things He has done for us. When we pray, let us set aside our to do list and give God our undivided attention. When we hear a sermon, let us put aside our weekly distractions, our tiredness, and hunger pains, to try hard to focus on the truth that is being shared. Let our hearts and lives not become so distracted that we no longer have time or a desire to focus on the one thing that matters most!
John 4:24 "God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."
Lately God has been sharing with me about having a "true" heart. These things I wrote about are your basic distractions that the average person goes through occasionally. But, what if these things become a pattern and you begin to realize that as you are worshiping, you are not focused on God, and you are constantly distracted by the world around you.
I recently spoke to the Middle School youth on having a true heart of worship. Anyone can stand up and sing a song, raise their hands in praise and prayer, and go through the motions. Anyone can sit through a sermon, have their Bible rest on their lap, and not hear one word that was spoken. If while we are singing our songs, we aren't praising God with our heart, then the words are pointless. We can sit through every sermon, but if we aren't truly listening and desiring to learn how to apply what is said to our lives, we have gained nothing. Singing songs with just our lips and listening only with our ears will never help us develop a true relationship with God. God desires a heart that is thankful and full of praise.
We have all had those moments of distraction, but let it not become a pattern in our lives. As we sing a song of praise, let us sing with a heart that is focused on God and all the wonderful things He has done for us. When we pray, let us set aside our to do list and give God our undivided attention. When we hear a sermon, let us put aside our weekly distractions, our tiredness, and hunger pains, to try hard to focus on the truth that is being shared. Let our hearts and lives not become so distracted that we no longer have time or a desire to focus on the one thing that matters most!
John 4:24 "God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."
10.15.2012
Being Satisfied
When my boys were young, my husband and I lived in a small, two bedroom apartment. The extent of our outside was a tiny bit of dirt that lie right in front of our living room window. I remember them opening the windows up, and driving their toy cars on that little patch of ground as if it was the best thing in the world! In those moments, I would pray that God would give us a bigger place to live. I felt bad having to raise my busy boys in such a tiny, confined space. I told God that if He gave me a bigger home, I would use it to invite people over and use it as a ministry.
After living in the apartments for a couple of years, God finally opened the door. A friend of ours was selling their place so that they could upgrade theirs. Living on one income, it was the perfect place for the boys to run. It had over 2100 square feet of space, their own bedroom, and even an office for my husband. We snatched it up and have lived there ever since.
The downside to our place is our lack of outside space; there's not much land to run free on, and we are surrounded by houses. As the boys got older, the house became more crowded, and the little legs that would sprint across the entire house at full speed, would start making the trip in shorter times. We didn't have much of a back yard for them to run freely in, and our home has no basement. We began to second guess our choice as we became dissatisfied with the things we didn't have, losing track of all the blessings that were right before us.
God gave us a home with lots of space, individual rooms for the boys, cheap enough that I could stay at home full time, and has two large living rooms so that I can keep that promise I made to God. I always say that my house may not be a mansion, but it is filled with love. Next to someone with a apartment, or without a place to stay, we are beyond wealthy. We must not get distracted with the things of this world, that we don't realize the amazing blessings that lay right before us. We don't have two fancy vehicles with heated seats and tvs, but we do have two older vehicles that are paid off in full and get us to wherever we need to be.
Let us remember to see all the amazing things that God has blessed us with and not dwell on the things we don't have. Money never made anyone a better person, and is just extra stuff that we can never take with us to heaven. It is good to work hard, but it is not good to work only to be dissatisfied and continue to only want more. Take a moment to thank God for that run down car that gets you to work, a creaky floor that has had lots of life run on it, and a home that may not be a mansion, but is filled with lots of love.
Matthew 6:19-20
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
After living in the apartments for a couple of years, God finally opened the door. A friend of ours was selling their place so that they could upgrade theirs. Living on one income, it was the perfect place for the boys to run. It had over 2100 square feet of space, their own bedroom, and even an office for my husband. We snatched it up and have lived there ever since.
The downside to our place is our lack of outside space; there's not much land to run free on, and we are surrounded by houses. As the boys got older, the house became more crowded, and the little legs that would sprint across the entire house at full speed, would start making the trip in shorter times. We didn't have much of a back yard for them to run freely in, and our home has no basement. We began to second guess our choice as we became dissatisfied with the things we didn't have, losing track of all the blessings that were right before us.
God gave us a home with lots of space, individual rooms for the boys, cheap enough that I could stay at home full time, and has two large living rooms so that I can keep that promise I made to God. I always say that my house may not be a mansion, but it is filled with love. Next to someone with a apartment, or without a place to stay, we are beyond wealthy. We must not get distracted with the things of this world, that we don't realize the amazing blessings that lay right before us. We don't have two fancy vehicles with heated seats and tvs, but we do have two older vehicles that are paid off in full and get us to wherever we need to be.
Let us remember to see all the amazing things that God has blessed us with and not dwell on the things we don't have. Money never made anyone a better person, and is just extra stuff that we can never take with us to heaven. It is good to work hard, but it is not good to work only to be dissatisfied and continue to only want more. Take a moment to thank God for that run down car that gets you to work, a creaky floor that has had lots of life run on it, and a home that may not be a mansion, but is filled with lots of love.
Matthew 6:19-20
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
9.18.2012
A Father to the Fatherless
I recently watched a show called "Intervention". This show followed drug addicts throughout their day, documenting the pain and turmoil that not only the addict feels, but the emotional heartbreak of the family that surrounds them. As I began to watch the different story lines of these addicts, I saw a pattern form. In each tragic story, the father was absent from their life. For some of them their father never wanted anything to do with them. In others, the father was at one time their hero, and in hard times abandoned them. In each scenario, you could feel the pain that was caused by rejection of the one person that was suppose to care for them the most. Some of these children, abused by others, and ignored by their parents, were once little children with beautiful smiles, a hope for life, and an innocence that was ripped from them. In each of these stories, their life changed once they hit middle school. The reality of life hit them, and since they had no father to run into the arms of, they began searching for something to fill the void. They found people that would "accept" them for who they were. They felt like they were closer to the drugs and to those friends than they were to their own fractured family.
The family unit is fading fast. We no longer have two parents raising children, we have a growing majority of split homes, multiple divorces, and kids left in the balance. How do we repair the damage of those whose father's have abandoned them, the ones who have been abused, or those that feel like there's just no hope? The reality is that there will always be those parents in this world of sin, and there will always be those kids that are left to pick up the pieces.
I recently read a book called, "One Home at a Time" by Dennis Rainey. In this book he talks about the declining family unit and its effect on America. He begins by telling a story of a couple who were on the verge of a divorce. Both the husband and the wife had been through many things in their life, and neither knew how to truly love each other. As they were about to sign the divorce papers, they agreed to go to a marriage conference. Reluctantly they went and God began to speak to them. Their life was not instantly changed, but they decided to "try". Though they didn't know how to pray, they threw some words out to God, in hopes that He was out there somewhere. The road wasn't easy, they both continued to fight, and in the midst would stop and pray. As each day went by, they found they were starting to feel love once again for each other, and their child saw the amazing difference that God was making in their family.
In the Bible it says that God is a "Father to the fatherless". He is the one we turn to in the time of trouble. How do we help those who feel they have no hope? How do we reach those millions of children, teens, and adults who have been abused and abandoned by their own father? We pray! In 2 Corinthians 7:14, the Bible says, "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."
Our nation is in a crisis, and the ship is sinking fast. We may feel like things look hopeless, and how can you as one person change anything. It begins with prayer! If you are a person who has been abandoned by their father, or you're a single mom, trying to be a mom and a dad to your children, don't give up hope! He is the Father to the fatherless, He is the one that when all others fail, we can run into His arms. He will never leave us nor forsake us, and He is the one that we pray to when the road is long and all hope is gone.
The family unit is fading fast. We no longer have two parents raising children, we have a growing majority of split homes, multiple divorces, and kids left in the balance. How do we repair the damage of those whose father's have abandoned them, the ones who have been abused, or those that feel like there's just no hope? The reality is that there will always be those parents in this world of sin, and there will always be those kids that are left to pick up the pieces.
I recently read a book called, "One Home at a Time" by Dennis Rainey. In this book he talks about the declining family unit and its effect on America. He begins by telling a story of a couple who were on the verge of a divorce. Both the husband and the wife had been through many things in their life, and neither knew how to truly love each other. As they were about to sign the divorce papers, they agreed to go to a marriage conference. Reluctantly they went and God began to speak to them. Their life was not instantly changed, but they decided to "try". Though they didn't know how to pray, they threw some words out to God, in hopes that He was out there somewhere. The road wasn't easy, they both continued to fight, and in the midst would stop and pray. As each day went by, they found they were starting to feel love once again for each other, and their child saw the amazing difference that God was making in their family.
In the Bible it says that God is a "Father to the fatherless". He is the one we turn to in the time of trouble. How do we help those who feel they have no hope? How do we reach those millions of children, teens, and adults who have been abused and abandoned by their own father? We pray! In 2 Corinthians 7:14, the Bible says, "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."
Our nation is in a crisis, and the ship is sinking fast. We may feel like things look hopeless, and how can you as one person change anything. It begins with prayer! If you are a person who has been abandoned by their father, or you're a single mom, trying to be a mom and a dad to your children, don't give up hope! He is the Father to the fatherless, He is the one that when all others fail, we can run into His arms. He will never leave us nor forsake us, and He is the one that we pray to when the road is long and all hope is gone.
8.27.2012
Allowing God to Lead You!
Years ago, my sons were in a private school. I put them in there because I had always loved school and wanted them to have the same experiences I had. I soon realized that my son had issues with socializing. I pulled him out and homeschooled him for a year. Determined that he would have a "normal" school upbringing, I put him back into school. Still struggling, I pulled him out again. I began to realize that the life I wanted for my child was just that; it was what "I" wanted. At that moment, I realized that God had called me to homeschool my kids, and since then, I have never looked back.
Recently, my husband and I had decided that now that the kids are older, I should maybe look for a part-time job. In the past I have had jobs, but usually my kids are always with me, since I usually worked in daycares. Deciding this was what was right for our family, I submitted my resume. Not long after I got a call. After the call, I got an interview, and after that I got the job. Praying that this was right, I had made a list of things that I had to have. First I wanted Sundays and Wednesdays off for church, and second, I needed to work nights, since I homeschool during the day. The future employer accepted these requests and I started my new job journey. Thinking that God had opened all these doors for me, I just knew this must be what He had for me, and I went in with high expectations and excitement that I would succeed! Between the time that I sent in my resume, to the time that I began working, problems began to arise. First, we started having car problems. We had to take it in twice. Then the church began to call and ask me to be apart of different things. I had been trying to be involved in certain areas for years, and all of the sudden doors had opened up, and I had no time to be involved. Groups that I had once been in charge of, began to be pushed to the side, due to work conflict.
As the changes all took place over the course of three weeks, I finally sat down with my husband and began to realize that this perfect looking job, with all these open doors, was not God's plan at all for us! I had selfishly wanted my own agenda, and pushed until God said, "FINE", and gave me what I wanted. I may not have thrown tantrums, or whined that I needed a job, but I certainly did not consult God enough, and did not rely on Him to meet our needs. Realizing that this was not where God wanted me, I turned in my resignation, and will continue to stay at home with my children full time. The moment that God gave me clarity on my selfish and stubborn ways, I turned from them and asked for forgiveness.
Maybe you struggle with allowing God to lead you. It can be hard to allow God to have complete control of your life! Sure, it would be nice for us to have that income and not always feel like we are barely getting by, but I can also tell you that I have so much more faith than I ever had before. God has taken care of us in ways that may seem impossible, but He always swooped in and saved the day. We have never been without a home, food, car, or any of our basic needs. Through the years He has taken care of them all! I encourage you today to examine your life and make sure that you are following the path that God has for you. Set your pride and stubbornness aside and allow God to lead you into a path of blessing by honoring Him.
Isaiah 48:17 “...I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go."
Recently, my husband and I had decided that now that the kids are older, I should maybe look for a part-time job. In the past I have had jobs, but usually my kids are always with me, since I usually worked in daycares. Deciding this was what was right for our family, I submitted my resume. Not long after I got a call. After the call, I got an interview, and after that I got the job. Praying that this was right, I had made a list of things that I had to have. First I wanted Sundays and Wednesdays off for church, and second, I needed to work nights, since I homeschool during the day. The future employer accepted these requests and I started my new job journey. Thinking that God had opened all these doors for me, I just knew this must be what He had for me, and I went in with high expectations and excitement that I would succeed! Between the time that I sent in my resume, to the time that I began working, problems began to arise. First, we started having car problems. We had to take it in twice. Then the church began to call and ask me to be apart of different things. I had been trying to be involved in certain areas for years, and all of the sudden doors had opened up, and I had no time to be involved. Groups that I had once been in charge of, began to be pushed to the side, due to work conflict.
As the changes all took place over the course of three weeks, I finally sat down with my husband and began to realize that this perfect looking job, with all these open doors, was not God's plan at all for us! I had selfishly wanted my own agenda, and pushed until God said, "FINE", and gave me what I wanted. I may not have thrown tantrums, or whined that I needed a job, but I certainly did not consult God enough, and did not rely on Him to meet our needs. Realizing that this was not where God wanted me, I turned in my resignation, and will continue to stay at home with my children full time. The moment that God gave me clarity on my selfish and stubborn ways, I turned from them and asked for forgiveness.
Maybe you struggle with allowing God to lead you. It can be hard to allow God to have complete control of your life! Sure, it would be nice for us to have that income and not always feel like we are barely getting by, but I can also tell you that I have so much more faith than I ever had before. God has taken care of us in ways that may seem impossible, but He always swooped in and saved the day. We have never been without a home, food, car, or any of our basic needs. Through the years He has taken care of them all! I encourage you today to examine your life and make sure that you are following the path that God has for you. Set your pride and stubbornness aside and allow God to lead you into a path of blessing by honoring Him.
Isaiah 48:17 “...I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go."
8.17.2012
Being a Godly Influence!
Two boys were walking along, looking as if they wanted to get into a little bit of mischief. While walking, I heard a voice calling for them to come back. Instantly one boy turned around and started going towards the woman, when the other boy grabbed his arm, told him to ignore her and just keep going. A second time you heard the woman yell for them. Once again the first boy turned toward her and began walking her way, when the second boy told him not to and to continue on with him. After several moments of the second boy, pulling on and working hard to get the first boy to disobey, and seeing the obvious struggle in the eyes and body language of the first boy, eventually the second boy got his way and both boys ended up running the opposite direction of the woman.
Influence. We all have influence over people, and we may have no idea how we are affecting them. The influence can also go both ways. You could be dragging someone else down, or they could be dragging you! Have you ever had a habit that you just can't seem to shake? Maybe you smoke, or maybe you can't help overeating. It is something that you may have struggled with for a long time. To get over these things are hard because we usually surround ourselves with people who have those same issues. "Birds of a feather" they say. If you smoke, you have your smoking buddies that you hang outside with during work breaks. If you like to eat, usually your whole family does too, making it hard to diet while they feast on chicken wings.
The principle of influence also applies to our spiritual life. If we are spending large amounts of time with people who don't go to church, maybe never read the Bible, don't believe it is wrong to cheat on your spouse, or are comfortable lying, then you too, slowly become influenced by these things. Slowly you drop your guard and begin to rationalize that the things you are doing are not so bad. For, if all your friends are doing it and seem to have it all together, it doesn't seem to be as sinful anymore. You spend extra time with a co-worker at the bars without your spouse, you slowly fall away from your marriage, you stop reading your Bible or attending church, and then suddenly you find yourself far away from where you ever thought you could be.
Be careful who your close friends are. The idea of "missionary dating", where a Christian dates or marries a non-christian to get them saved, never works. In the end you will be dragged down, not the other way around. It is far easier to go down a hill than to climb up it. It is not hard to eat a doughnut, but it sure is hard to get those love handles off! Make sure that not only are you surrounded by people of Godly influence, but that you yourself are also being a person that would not take the hand of someone next to you and cause them to be led astray.
Proverbs 12:26
"The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray."
Influence. We all have influence over people, and we may have no idea how we are affecting them. The influence can also go both ways. You could be dragging someone else down, or they could be dragging you! Have you ever had a habit that you just can't seem to shake? Maybe you smoke, or maybe you can't help overeating. It is something that you may have struggled with for a long time. To get over these things are hard because we usually surround ourselves with people who have those same issues. "Birds of a feather" they say. If you smoke, you have your smoking buddies that you hang outside with during work breaks. If you like to eat, usually your whole family does too, making it hard to diet while they feast on chicken wings.
The principle of influence also applies to our spiritual life. If we are spending large amounts of time with people who don't go to church, maybe never read the Bible, don't believe it is wrong to cheat on your spouse, or are comfortable lying, then you too, slowly become influenced by these things. Slowly you drop your guard and begin to rationalize that the things you are doing are not so bad. For, if all your friends are doing it and seem to have it all together, it doesn't seem to be as sinful anymore. You spend extra time with a co-worker at the bars without your spouse, you slowly fall away from your marriage, you stop reading your Bible or attending church, and then suddenly you find yourself far away from where you ever thought you could be.
Be careful who your close friends are. The idea of "missionary dating", where a Christian dates or marries a non-christian to get them saved, never works. In the end you will be dragged down, not the other way around. It is far easier to go down a hill than to climb up it. It is not hard to eat a doughnut, but it sure is hard to get those love handles off! Make sure that not only are you surrounded by people of Godly influence, but that you yourself are also being a person that would not take the hand of someone next to you and cause them to be led astray.
Proverbs 12:26
"The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray."
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