1.10.2013

Wives, Love Your Husbands!

Ah the joys of marriage! When a girl gets married, she spends a long time dreaming about it. Most girls dress up and have pretend weddings as children, and as they grow, they continue to envision their special day! The difference between the reality and a dream can sometimes be overwhelming for those young brides. They have seen all the romantic movies, read all those fancy romance novels, and they begin to have a false sense of what their marriage is going to be like.

When a woman first meets that amazing someone, they begin to notice only the special things that their man is doing for them and ignore everything else. They accept their flaws, and love their differences....for "opposites attract"...right? Everything is exciting and new and their significant other gets them to try new things and experience life from their point of view. At first, we as women go along with this; we accept them just as their are. As time goes on though, we begin to notice patterns of things, and how those quirks and differences start to bother us. We get frustrated when the things we had seen in books or saw in the movies is not what is occurring in our own relationships. We have allowed these things to give us a false sense of what true love really is.

One of the things I dislike most about those romance movies, is that the guy is suppose to read our minds! He is suppose to have the most amazing memory, know every single detail about us, know how we are feeling at any given moment, and act upon it accordingly. This is not reality. There might be a time when I am feeling blue, but I may say I'm fine. My husband says something in a tone that I take the wrong way, and I begin to get angry, yet he has no clue what he just said. When these things occur, we need to stop and think about what happened and why we are taking these things the wrong way. Each woman does not like it when a man uses the "time of the month" card, but it is a factor in how we feel. As women, we need to take a moment and find out why things offend us. Were our hormones going crazy? Did we miss breakfast? Is work becoming too stressful?

When the negative thoughts about our spouse begin to crawl in, and his imperfections shine through, we need to take a moment to step back and remember that we are just as imperfect. A guy does not have the ability to read our thoughts, know how we feel at each moment of the day, and cannot possible be "Mr. Romance" 24/7. He will not have the same emotions, and most guys have no desire to talk about them. God made him the "head of the home", and with that is built in a desire to provide. His job can become stressful at times, and he may feel overwhelmed. The desire to provide can take its toll. When my children were little and I stayed at home, there were days when my husband walked in and I handed the kids over without a word and went to have some moments of sanity. We need to remember that they need that too! Give them time to unwind at home, let them know they have a safe haven to run to. When my husband comes home, we all run to the door to hug him and let him know we are all glad that he is home, and how thankful we are that he works to help provide for us. Happiness begins in the small things. Love isn't always fireworks, but it's a foot massage, or making their favorite meal. It's the little things that matter. Let us remember to let our husbands be who they are and love them for how God made them!