I remember back to when my husband and I were first married. Even though we had dated for two years, I remember it being hard to learn how to work together as one unit. The hard part was learning how to combine our separate lives. We each had our own set of friends, things we liked to do apart from each other, and it was tough to find a trusting middle ground. On one hand, guys love to hang out together and my husband is a night owl. He knows how to stay up late and enjoys a good video game. I, on the other hand, am an early to bed, early to rise kind of person. The two did not mix at first as I had the expectations of us falling asleep at the same time...like in all those movies I had seen!
As those first few months unfolded, I remember feeling so frustrated. We knew we loved each other, we felt like we had really spent a lot of time knowing each other before marriage, and yet, there were so many things I felt like I still didn't know. As we began to communicate and work together, we were able to come to a middle ground. My husband knew that he could no longer stay out late with the guys playing video games until 2am, and he would make sure to come home at a decent hour. Sure, we eventually figured out we would never fall asleep at the same time, but he would make an effort to pray with me before I went to sleep, creating that bond. His sacrifice and love showed me that I could trust him completely, for he didn't wander out late at night, or leave me alone without knowing where he was. I felt secure, which is one of the greatest things a husband can do for his wife. It is one way to show his love.
As the years went on and we began to have kids, our lives once again changed. Any extra time with our friends faded away as the all consuming stages of babyhood took over. I was a stay at home mom, where I spent the days staring into the eyes of my beautiful children, spending all those precious moments together, hearing them scream for 2 hours straight, wondering when I was going to get sleep, and forgetting what day it was. During those priceless and exhausting moments, I remember times when my husband would walk in the door. and I would hand him our child and go off to have a moment of peace. Even though he had just worked a long and exhausting shift, he would without complaint, take our child and give me rest. In those moments, he showed me how much he would sacrifice for me. He showed me love.
Now that our boys are getting older, we have new stresses that arrive. The biggest stress would have to be money. Not only do we have college looming near, we have to feed the hungry boys that have hollow legs. They, as all good teens, will want to drive soon and have a car, and they also need clothes constantly, since they seem to think they need to outgrow each article before they can wear them out. There are times when we stop and wonder how others make it and sometimes think that maybe we should both work. In those moments, we have learned to trust God. My husband feels that being home with our boys, teaching and training them is one of the most important jobs that we have as parents. Without hesitation he has encouraged me to stay at home, despite the grocery and clothes bill doubling. He is constantly supportive of putting our family first, and in that way, he shows me love.
No matter what situation you find yourself in today, I encourage you to build that trust with your spouse. Husbands, show your wives you care. You don't have to buy her a big expensive house or the latest car; a husband who supports and care for his wife no matter what is worth more than gold. It helps her to not only trust you completely, but makes her feel secure in herself as a wife and mother. Taking a moment to pray with her, removing the screaming child from her grasp to give her rest, and allowing her to fulfill the role she has as a mother, is priceless. She is God's gift to you, and her security rests in your hands.
1 Peter 3:7
"Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."